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Pages: best way to wipe your ass [1]
Author Topic: Best way to wipe your ass
kessner

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2010-09-16 0-12-29-

best way to wipe your ass by Francois Rabelais "Once I did wipe me with a gentlewoman's velvet mask, and found it to be good; for the softness of the silk was very voluptuous and pleasant to my fundament. Another time with of their hoods, and in like manner that was comfortable; at another time with a lady's neckerchief, and after that some ear-pieces made of crimson satin; but there was such a number of golden spangles in them that they fetched away all the skin off my tail with a vengeance. This hurt I cured by wiping myself with a page's cap, garnished with a feather after the Swiss fashion. Afterwards, in dunging behind a bush, I found a March-cat, and with it daubed my breech, but her claws were so sharp that they grievously exulcerated my peritoneum. Of this I recovered the next morning thereafter, by wiping myself with my mother's gloves, of a most excellent perfume of Arabia. [He continues in this vein for several pages.] But to conclude, I say and maintain that of all arse-wisps, bum-fodders, tail-napkins, bung-hole-cleansers and wipe-breeches, there is none in this world comparable to the neck of a goose, that is well downed, if you hold her head betwixt your legs: and believe me therein upon mine honour; for you will thereby feel in your nockhole a most wonderful pleasure, both in regard of the softness of the said down, and of the temperate heat of the goose; which is easily communicated to the bumgut and the rest of the intestines, insofar as to come even to the regions of the heart and brains. And think not that the felicity of the heroes and demigods, in the Elysian fields, consisteth either in their Ambrosia or Nectar, but in this, that t
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Lilias

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2010-09-16 0-44-42-

tldr - but for us women its important to go FRONT TO BACK!!! LOL
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  • better

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    2010-09-16 21-42-06

    its worth the read!
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  • Nhut

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    Posts: 38

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    2011-02-05 1-26-51-

    eh...I'll be the judge for myself I don't want to read anything about wiping ass...sorry...poetic, song, whatever it is...I started and then...decided not to.
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    vanfossan

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    2011-03-19 0-32-21-

    or just do completely seperate wipes with x diff pieces of tp.
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  • Tedda

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    2011-07-17 17-22-39

    I didn't mean front as in vag I mean when wipping the ass. wipe from front of ass to back...of course use MORE then peices anyway.
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  • haass

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    2014-08-07 17-40-11

    I am I have trained my body to havemassive bowel movement every morning, pretty much right after coffee and a fewthreads. After this, I remove fecal matter with dry tissue followed by Cottonelle Flushable Baby Wipesô with Aloe, then more dry tissue. Immediately after flushing, I shower- first applying shower gel to my ass. I wash my hands of any fecal matter and apply more shower gel to my underarms and genital area. Please note, that during this time, the soap in my ass is performing a "pre-soaking" function, gently preparing the fecal matter to be removed. I cleanse my underarms and genitia and rinse them thoroughly before giving my ass an intense, vigorous scrubbing then rinse with cold water. I then wash my hands, paying attention to removing any fecal matter that has accumulated under my fingernails. That being done, I perform a second overall cleansing from head to toe ( including my ass)dry off and apply lotion. Then, with a toothbrush explicitly marked "ASS," I scrub my anus thoroughly with diluted tea tree oil. This is followed with another wiping with Cottonelle Flushable Baby Wipesô with Aloe followed by dry tissue which is subsequently flushed. Finally, using a blowdryer I got from ebay, I dry my ass on the lowest setting. Should the rare occaision present itself where I am forced to defecate in a location other than my own home, I carry with me a travel pack of Cottonelle Flushable Baby Wipesô with Aloe, a auxilliary, travel-size toothbush (marked "ASS"), and a small portable fan.
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