dilday
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2011-01-30 15-09-29 |
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Advice? Thoughts?
I know I'm going to get ridiculed/slammed for this, but being as I'm a very private person when it comes to my home and personal life, I'm much more comfortable discussing this anonoumusly. So for those of you that actually respond in a constuctive way, I thank you in advance. Anyways, here goes....we've been married for 10 years, and have three (which I'll get into shortly). The marriage has been bad, at best, I guess. I'm not a perfect husband, but I try. I could write a book covering the last ten years, but we'll cut to the chase. My youngest two (9 and 8 months) aren't biologiy mine. The nine year old, she had convinced me was mine until she was about 2, then I finally got the truth. By that time, I was already invested emotionally. So, I stuck it out for the sake. Now, I have an eight month old that isn't mine (I was fixed after the 9 year old.) Once again, I'm being dad. I made the decision I'm going to stick this out for the sake, but the longer it goes, the harder it gets. I don't hate her (the mom/wife), but do have plenty of resentment and hatred for things she done. I care about her and love her, but am very far removed from being in love with her. We still have fun/get along good once in awhile, but on a day to day basis, we're more like distant roommates, I guess. We don't argue/fight in front of the too much, but my 11 year old pretty much has things figured out, I think. Bottom line, I'm really not happy. Not that I'm completley unhappy, just not happy, you know? Do I suck it up, let the get older, and then figure it out? I just feel like if I walk away from it, aside from the risk of not seeing my that aren't really mine, that I'll be putting my happiness before my . Guess I'm just venting.....
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